Roosh’s

Argentina

Compendium

Roosh V

© 2011 by Roosh V

http://www.rooshv.com

Smashwords edition.

All rights reserved.

Preface

I quickly fell in love with Argentine women only to fall quickly out of love. I can't deny their feminine allure—their long, dark hair, their cute, mouse-like faces, and their thin but curvaceous bodies, but trying to get them in bed has perplexed me and thousands of other American gringos. With my extensive examination of the women I feel like I've only scratched the surface, and I remain frustrated at how standard game theory hasn't provided me with answers that lead to consistent success.

Truth is the women are beautiful but exceptionally hard. I believe they are one of the toughest nationalities in the world to lay, behind Spanish and Italian women. It's no accident that Argentines come predominately from Spanish and Italian blood, and the personality similarities can be eerie even though they are separated by the vast Atlantic Ocean. The best advice I can give you is to visit Argentina primarily not for the women but for the travel experience. Visit for Iguazu Falls, Mendoza’s wine country, Patagonia, Buenos Aires, Spanish schooling, or the quaint colonial towns and fun cities like Salta and Cordoba. If you go only for the women, you will be disappointed.

Nonetheless, this guide will get your foot in the door. You'll have a rudimentary attack strategy before you even arrive while most guys are holding back tears on the flight home. Getting your Argentine flag will be your ultimate challenge, and if you can get laid in Argentina then I'm confident you can get laid anywhere. After your trip, please share your pieces of wisdom and advice by posting your story on my travel forum (http://www.rooshvforum.com). If you are unsure about the game basics like approaching, maintaining conversations, or sealing the deal, I recommend my book Bang (http://www.bangguides.com/game/bang), a pickup reference guide that I consider the "bible" of game.

If getting laid on your next trip is more important than sight-seeing, then you may want to think about visiting Brazil or Colombia instead, countries where the women are considerably easier. I've written guides about them that are more detailed and extensive than what you're about to read. Check them out at:

• http://www.bangguides.com/travel/brazil-compendium

• http://www.bangguides.com/travel/bang-colombia

Good luck!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

I. GIRLS & GAME

II. GUIDES

III. STORIES

IV. FAVORITE READER COMMENTS

I: GIRLS & GAME

School Of Argentine Girls

When I first arrived in Córdoba, after spending a full week in Salta, I was still trying to figure out the best way to pick up Argentine girls. Two weeks later, after going out most nights with a pack of almost a dozen gringos as motivated as I was, pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place.

It’s amazing how fast you learn with other guys. It’s similar to how you work out harder when you have a buddy standing over you on the bench calling you a pussy for not being able to push the bar up. Every night we’d talk about our experiences, share our revelations, and then use all that knowledge the following night. We got good pretty fast. As a couple of them have told me, “I’ve never in my life hit on girls like I have here.” Here are some things we learned:

Lesson 1: Get a cell phone. While one-night stands happen, they are much less common than in the States. A decent phone on a prepaid plan will cost you $50, and a $10 fill-up will last you forever since you will be mostly sending text messages. It would be even cheaper if you buy an unlocked phone on the internet before you arrive.

Lesson 2: Know where at least one love hotel is located. “So do you know of a hotel around here?” is something you should never ask your chick. When you think she’s about ready to get banged, take her out to a bar nearby the hotel.

Lesson 3: You need to average at least five approaches a day, and not just at night. Girls are everywhere: the park, the university, the gym, the mall, and so on. It’d be silly to wait until 2am to start talking to girls. Remember that Argentine girls will never approach you, so if you’re a shy guy and have no intention of approaching, don’t come to Argentina.

Turns out it is very easy to talk to Argentine girls, but hard to escalate. Every guy has a story that starts with “She was loving me” and ends with “Fuck, I don’t what happened.” I’m pretty sure that the novelty of talking to a gringo (there aren’t many here) makes them excited to chat for the first 20 minutes or so, giving me the impression that she is into me. Once the novelty wears off and the language barrier becomes more obvious and painful, things fade out. So you need to talk to enough girls to catch one whose attraction for you is enough to overcome the language problem. It helps if she hasn’t been laid in a while.

Lesson 4: You have significantly better odds getting laid when you meet a girl in a bar than in a loud club. Go to the house club only after trying your luck at the bars. Only problem is that the bars here are packed with tables and everyone is sitting down, making for tougher approaches. While the clubs have tons of girls, the young ones there are more concerned with dancing than hooking up. It really seems like most of them don’t want to get laid.

Lesson 5: Forget everything you have ever learned about eye contact. Don’t look for it, don’t expect it, and don’t wait for it. It’s a very poor indicator of interest in Argentina.

Lesson 6: Young Argentine girls are more flakey and have less focus than American girls. If you can’t bang an American college girl, it will be very difficult for you to pick up an Argentine college girl, though 90% of girls you meet at night in the city of Córdoba are in college. They also value attention more than American girls, stringing you along just for validation until they get their fix and move on.

The older girls in Córdoba have it tough. The competition is so great that they will make it extremely easy for you if you happen to meet them (I can count on one hand how many girls I have met over the age of 25). Proof of how hard it is for lower quality girls out here is that I get much more love from the gringas in the hostel than when I was in ugly countries like Bolivia or Ecuador. But I don’t bother because, relatively speaking, even the cute gringas in Argentina seem ugly. On the flip side, even the ugly Argentine girls are decent.

Lesson 7: It takes time. The quality ones are projects that take at least a week to crack if you even got a shot. You need to buckle down, play the text messaging game, hang out with her friends, and keep pushing things into love hotel where you just to “talk” or “hacer cucharita” (spoon). Do all this while working on other girls. If you stay here for only a weekend, you’ll need lots of luck. I wouldn’t plan anything under two weeks.

Lesson 8: Dick game works, but don’t overdo it. Girls respond better to jerky & funny than interesting & funny. For example, when the girl tells you she doesn’t speak much English, say, “Why not? English is a very common language.” When she asks you what you think of Argentina say, “It’s alright. The girls are very weird and cold.” Don’t insult, but make a lot of jokes that you are not impressed with the country or girls. Point out things like cultural flaws instead of mentioning how her country has the hottest girls you’ve ever seen in your life.

Lesson 9: Get ready for the head turn when you go in for the kiss, which happened to much more in Argentina than in the States. Understand: it’s a cultural thing that isn’t entirely bad if she sticks around after your attempt. Stay composed like it didn’t affect you and retry every 10 minutes or so until you get there. Resist the temptation to force it. If you don’t kiss her the first night you meet, forget about it.

The kiss here is a big deal. It’s the most frustrating part of dealing with Argentine girls. They make you put in a ridiculous amount of work for something that is so minor back home. But once you kiss them it’s like a light switch goes off: they instantly get more affectionate and warm. The amount of affection an Argentine girl gives you after the kiss is similar to what an American girl would give you on the second or third date. When an Argentine girl tries to convince me her behavior is the same as girls from other parts of the world, I ask her how many girls they have tried to bang that are not from Argentina.

Lesson 10: Leave your ego and pride at home. It’s hard, and while I’m not completely sure if it’s worth it or not, you will not get anything if you are used to playing it cool and letting girls do the work. As I liked to tell the guys in Córdoba, “If I put this much energy into getting girls at home, I’d get laid every single night.”

Follow these rules and it’s a 100% guarantee you will get action here, either from the suddenly insecure female travellers, the Argentine girls working at the hostel, the young ones at the club, or the older cougars who know their place on the ladder. It’s up to you how much you get.

Top 10 Game Insights

1. Argentine girls love disappearing. You think they are loving you hours after you first approached, and then they just ditch you. This may be a reason why Argentine guys are dicks: why put in the work, be nice, and spend all that time if she’s going to leave?

2. Escalation is different. When an American girl starts touching you, you’re money and can ramp up. When an Argentine girl does it, it’s bait and you should not escalate quite yet. If you bite too early, you “lose” and that’s that. You need to wait longer than normal for when the vibe of the interaction changes where she starts staring at you differently or smiling when there is nothing to smile about. Only then do you escalate.

3. Dancing is crucial in almost all pick-ups. Since there is no such thing as grinding here, that means you dance for hours a foot away from her, waiting like a puppy dog until you get the green light explained above. If you are the kind of guy like me who prefers leaning against the bar all night with a drink in your hand, you will get significantly less than your twin who hits the dance floor. While dancing offers no certainty you’ll get anything, it’s the only way to keep her attention for long periods of time.

4. There is no cockblocking here from the girlfriends. I’m convinced cockblocking is a Western phenomenon.

5. Challenge the girls and push them away. Make it seem like every answer she gives is wrong and she has absolutely zero chance with you. Say things like “I wish you were so and so instead” while smiling. The only way to find out how far you can go is to make a few girls genuinely mad at you.

6. Girls believe they’re not worth anything if they’re easy. This is a strong cultural meme that you’ll have to overcome, meaning quality girls will do everything to make it hard for you. It will always a headache.

7. The culture is not sexually liberalized. I’ve never seen such conservative style. The girls never show cleavage and they think sexy is showing off their skinny arms. At the end of the night in a U.S. club, a significant number of people are making out. In Argentina, there are only a handful of couples. You’ll find fast girls but on average they are slower than Americans.

8. In two months I’ve never seen an Argentine girl tipsy or drunk. They just dance or talk all night. Plus it isn’t a shot-taking culture like in the U.S. The nightspots rarely even have shot glasses.

9. Social circle is very important. This is especially true since Argentina doesn’t have an easy pick-up environment. Gringos who have done well with Argentine girls are ones that have enrolled in school for an extended period of time and built up a social circle, no matter how small.

10. Don’t wait for eye contact. In most cultures, when someone is staring at you, you look to see who it is. But the girls here will definitely not look at you if they know you are staring. If I’m walking on the sidewalk and notice a cute girl walking towards me, I avert eye contact and pretend I’m not paying attention until I feel her looking at me. Then I look at her eyes. She’ll panic and look away immediately. You are not supposed to know she is looking at you because that may mean she is interested. That’s how Argentine girls are.

Two Strategies To Fucking Argentine Girls

Here’s an email I got from an American guy:

“Hey, man. I’m from Washington, DC. I saw your posts a few months ago about Argentine girls in Córdoba especially, but I happen to be in Buenos Aires. I’ve been here since June and my game is pretty damn good, but I’d say I have trouble with actually sealing the deal.

For example, tonight I met 32 girls, but I have trouble getting physical. I touch of course, but still I guess it’s hard to get to the kiss. Aparte es dificil to convince the chicks that you are the one for them. I’d say I can meet chicks really, really easily, but actually going for it and making sure that we hook up is another thing. And FYI it’s not that I’m a pussy and don’t escalate etc. For example I touch as mentioned, I mention sex, I suggest “us” in a subtle way, and I try to go for it, but usually end up with the girls as friends, not fuck buddies.”

There are two ways to fuck an Argentine girl. The first is to just go balls out and keeping approaching until you find the slutty one who likes gringos. It’s not efficient but it can work for guys that don’t have enough time to figure them out. Assuming you have decent indirect and aloof game, it should get you pretty close to success. But if your game is direct, generally speaking you will do poorly and risk going 0 for 32. I say “generally speaking” because I have seen one guy successfully work direct game on Argentine girls, but he’s the exception at this point. Stick to indirect game, approach a truckload of women, and you should hit eventually.

The second way is to live in the country and find a niche or social circle so you don’t have to worry about “gaming” them. My working theory is this: if you go into a group of Argentine girls with the intent of making out with one of them, it’s almost a certainty you won’t. Instead you have to think “I’m going to fuck with this girl’s head and she’s going to be so intrigued that she will be on my nutsack.” You have to be the coquette. This passive approach goes against everything I’ve learned with American girls, but I have accepted that Argentine girls are a different breed of animal.

“…another thing; as you mentioned the girls are completely wacko here. It seems like I see a girl staring at me or talking to a girl about how she likes me, and then she goes coldish saying that she has a boyfriend (obviously and blatantly as if she wants me to know she’s lying) and also just kind of moving away even though it’s obvious she wants it. I also think it may have to do with lack of escalation or maybe escalating (touching for example) too fast. And also I think they play hard to get even when they actually like you just to bust your balls. They are crazy, but obviously some of the cutest girls on this fucking planet.”

If you keep doing something that doesn’t work, you need to try something completely different that would never be needed in America. For example, say if often happens that an Argentine girl breaks her neck for you and then you walk up to her to say “hi” but she goes cold. Instead, how about you walk up to her and say, “Excuse me can you stop being rude and staring at me like that? Where I come from we don’t do that.” Have a blank expression so she doesn’t know if you were serious or not.

If a girl shows you her “boyfriend” on her cellphone (something that will happen about 50% of the time), she wants you to think she is desired by another man. How about you say, “Oh wow he’s a good looking guy. Is he gay?” Her response will be to qualify him, putting her on the defensive. Continue the charade with a confused look on your face, as if you think it’s a little strange she likes bisexual men.

I think you get the point. I’m not saying these moves will get you instantly in her pants, but if you constantly experiment you’re bound to strike on something that gets the reaction you want. Bottom line: do something very different than what you are used to doing, because Argentine girls are very different themselves.

When it comes to Brazilian girls, use standard American game. No change is needed.

Insider Tips From An Argentine Guy

Here’s a comment I read the other day:

“You talk about how hard Argentina is but for me it was the biggest pick-up cakewalk I have ever had. The only one I have ever had. The women chased me aggressively.”

I asked him about his strategy. The answer: he “groomed” himself. Yes, dude banged Argentine models because he shaved and put on a nice t-shirt. I called the troll out to lay out specific techniques, a story, pictures, or anything that gives his boast some credibility, but of course “he” hasn’t posted since. I use quotes because lately I’m noticing women trolling as men on my blog. “The women chased my aggressively” sounds like something a girl would say.

There were also some other misguided comments about “looking good.” All things being equal, looking sharper may help you get laid depending on the type of girl you’re going for, but telling a guy to cut his hair in order to bang Argentine girls left and right tells me either you don’t have game or haven’t been to Argentina. In fact for some type of girls, looking too sharp will hurt you.

Finally an Argentine guy rolls by and tells everyone to sit down and shut up. Here’s some required reading for anyone going to Argentina:

“1. Our girls drink very little.

2. Our guys are really forward, confident and insistent. Asshole game or direct game will not set you apart, you will just blend in. Last minute resistance is actually ‘last few days resistance’ and we are trained to deal with that.

The girls need to rationalize a story for you. You want to be: the guy I met at yoga classes, or the guy who works with my friend, the guy who’s friends with X’s boyfriend or the guy who plays rugby at the club where I play field hockey. Being the random guy I met at a bar is usually not enough. If you are a foreigner, you need a story that will make you be around for a longer period of time (I’m leaving tomorrow will usually backfire and usually so will I’m leaving next week). Girls will make out with a guy they met at a bar, but this guy needs to create his story to take it further.

Since most guys will lie, deceive and twist facts when talking to women (btw, “having game” is translated as “tener parla”), girls need to screen the guys.

In terms of tactics:

1. Roll in a group for ho have the motorcycloptimum results. If it is a beach town in the summer, you want to be with the guys with jetskis, quads or who are into kite-surfing or beach volleyball. You also want to host house parties or be regulars at a club as part of a big mixed group.

2. The girl you may get will have seen you before. Your groups will join at one point, and that will provide the setting for her to lower her defenses. Because of this tactic, you need to have different groups of girls around, with a few potential targets in each group for each guy.

3. Pickups take time and same night action is rare. As an example, if I’m traveling to Argentina for only a week, I know I won’t be getting much action. The 3-date structure is quite prevalent: you meet a girl at your friend’s birthday party (on a Saturday) and get her phone number. You take her out for drinks or dinner the following Wednesday and make out. You catch up with her on Saturday as part of a mixed group. You pick her up and drive her each time so you’ll have the logistical upper hand. Come Saturday, she should put out. But all this relies on me meeting the girl on my first couple of days in town.

Conclusion: the rules of game apply in Argentina, but pickups take much longer (days vs hours). To have many girls, you need to be creating your story with multiple girls at the same time. If you give up on each pickup the same day, your numbers will suffer. You need a big backlog of potential girls to keep your numbers up.

A successful crew will have different groups of girls around them. They may throw a party and have them all around (along with other guy crews) or will juggle the groups for smaller outings. The girls will also have different crews to hang out with. To differentiate yourself, you need to be part of the most interesting crew. If you don’t have a crew, you need to be a regular at a specific club or bar. Meet a few girls one day, maybe make out with one and have follow up dates or just meet them again next time they go to that club. The 2nd time around, you are no longer a stranger.”

Everything this Argentine man said 100% confirms what I know. If you encounter a guy who says that Argentine girl are easy, ask him two questions:

1. How many did you bang?

2. Pics?

You’ll find he either got lucky with one girl or banged a couple that you personally wouldn’t. Believe me that if a gringo banged a hot Argentine girl he would have a dozen pictures of her on his computer.

Odds & Ends: 5 Quick Tips

1. It’s very difficult to meet Argentine girls aged between 25-30, possibly because they are engaged or married. To meet girls over 30 you need to go to the old people’s clubs. It may be worth it for you to do so.

2. It’s happened to me at least half-a-dozen times that I’m talking to a cute girl and find out she is 16 years old. Usually they look older because of the dim lighting. One of the hottest girls I’ve talked to in Argentina was 17. Average age is more like 20. The age of consent in Argentina is 16 or 18, depending on who you ask.

3. I discovered that by starting in English instead of Spanish, regardless of whether the girls completely understand or not, approaching becomes far easier. It’s better for her to struggle with language than you. I worry about the language problem after the approach, though this “problem” is actually my greatest asset.

4. As a commenter pointed out, saying “Quiero hacer cucharita” means “I want to spoon.” Girls think it’s funny when you say it.

5. Eye contact in the U.S. is usually an indicator that the girl likes you and wants to talk to you. It makes things a lot easier when you go to a bar or club and don’t feel like working too hard. But in Argentina the girls don’t make eye contact before you approach, so you’re going into each one not knowing how the girl will react. It’s actually better this way because you approach based on what you want and not necessarily what the girl wants.

The Final Verdict

There are a few things I learned upon my second trip to Córdoba, Argentina.

1. A white Argentine girl is harder to bang than one with a little bit of brown in her. These brown girls are more similar to Colombians in the work it takes to get with them. And I must stress “similar” because there is a difference. In Colombia girls flake right before the date, but in Argentina they do stupid shit well before. For example, in Argentina a girl will throw her number at me and then when I get her on the phone to make plans she’ll say, “Sorry but I have a boyfriend,” or something equally retarded. They just wanted to see if I’d ask them out or not. If you’re doing it by text then she simply won’t respond after a couple back-and-forths, no matter how much affection she gave you previously. This makes asking girls out a lose/lose dilemma which game theory doesn’t have obvious answers to.

Many times it’s happened where a girl responded very enthusiastically when I messaged her, with replies that included exclamation points, but then simply gave me radio silence after I tried to set plans. I wanted to get an insiders’ look at this phenomenon, so I went through the steps of making plans with one of my Spanish-speaking partners with the intention to disappear on her when it was time to finalize plans, like previous girls did to me.

She texted me on a day I had mentioned I might be free, asking if I could meet up later in the evening. The plan was to simply not respond and leave her hanging, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s too mean to leave someone out there like that so I eventually replied (with an excuse, but at least she got a response). It’s almost evil how disrespectful Argentine girls can be. While we do see issues like flakiness in Colombia and even Brazil, at least those girls have the consideration to let you down easy. It seems like in Argentina the girls have a goal to make you feel like shit, at multiple points in the seduction.

2. In the U.S., to upgrade from a 5 or 6 to a 7 takes a marginal amount of work, but in Argentina it’s significantly harder. There are the very cute girls who take quite a bit of time (and luck), and then the bangable girls who are similar to Colombians in terms of difficulty. For example, I get looks and approach invitations from 5s and 6s all day, but the 7s and up only look with their peripheral vision, if at all.

3. If the club you’re going to has a web site or can be Googled, you shouldn’t go there. I’m being a little extreme, but you don’t want to go to trendy places frequented only by “white” Argentines who think they’re European. Experiment with trashy bars and clubs.

4. Because your first date with an Argentine girl will most likely be with her friends, the attractiveness of the girl you approach doesn’t matter much since odds are she’ll have at least one cute friend. Argentine girls younger than 30 don’t like doing one-on-one dates right off the bat like in America. So what happens is she invites you out to a big group outing and then you can play the field and turn on the charm for the girl you really like. Stay on a friendly vibe with the initial girl you met in order to make a painless switch. In other words, don’t lead her on because if she likes you too much then her friends will back off.

On my first day in Córdoba an ugly girl at the mall was eye fucking me. I wanted to practice my Spanish so I opened her, and within five minutes she had my number. She called me later that night and invited me to a birthday party that had many girls cuter than her. There was a sad moment when she realized I didn’t like her, but I was able to meet prettier women that I wouldn’t have otherwise. The girl you approach during the day, for instance, will be merely a gateway to more poon. It’s best to do these day approaches on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, to get invited out later those nights while her feelings for you are still strong. Two downsides to this strategy: (1) You may not like her friends or they may have boyfriends, and (2) Who wants to regularly approach ugly girls?

5. Córdoba has a lot of beautiful girls because of the huge university population. When you take that away, like I got to see on Easter weekend when the students went home, the locals are of equal beauty to other Argentine cities. What happens is pretty girls from small towns in surrounding states come to Córdoba to study, and then go back to where they came from or move to Buenos Aires afterwards. Córdoba has that wow factor when you go to a club, but most of those girls are under 23 and frankly, not yet ready for the type of casual sexual relationship you probably want. Even arranging simple dates with them will give you grey hair.

6. You can’t escalate on an Argentine girl like you can with Western sluts. You have to be 50% more passive than usual, and let the girl do a lot of work, either by messaging you first, inviting you out, or asking you to come to the bathroom to do drugs. The main idea here is for her to initiate the escalation move and then you finish it off.

Unfortunately many Argentine girls will not put in any work, so you’ll get “rejected” when the girl simply does nothing. Pushing the interaction hard or going direct only works on desperate girls (i.e. ugly), and boy do those desperate girls skip out on game playing to get laid! Note this passive type of game is not optimal in Brazil or Colombia. In Argentina you’re punished for being a man who goes about getting what he wants, which is probably why so many Argentine guys are weird and creepy, or have just given up on women completely to devote their lives to rock music and pot smoking. Your best option is to sit there, be cool as fuck, get her laughing, and just hope for the best. In America the game is like a mountain, difficult at times but with a visible goal that is attainable for those who train hard. In Argentina game is like a cloud, impossible to grasp.

I have to put some things in perspective. When I first visited Córdoba, I was coming from the dregs of South America (Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia). I was blown away by the appearance of the women without having the twelve months of experience that I later gained in Colombia and Brazil. While I still think Córdoba has some of the most beautiful women on the continent, they’re pretty lame, insecure, and immature. And even when they get older, a Cordobesa in her late 20s has the maturity of a Brazilian or Colombian in her early 20s. Sure their appearance is splendidly feminine, but they are missing the sexy vibe of Brazilian and Colombian women, and definitely the dancing ability of the Brazilians. On the bright side they seem to pick up on sarcastic humor a lot better than other South American women because of their love of American television shows.

7. Many guys told me that once you get an Argentine girl out of her city and social circle, she’ll be much more tolerable. I find this to be the case with two Argentine girls I’ve fooled around with outside of Argentina, one in the U.S. and the other in Brazil. They were very easy to make plans for, hardly flaked, and didn’t play psychosexual games. Therefore it may be easier to get your Argentine flag outside of Argentina. I hear there are a lot of Argentine girls in American ski resorts.

8. Argentina is the only country where the quality I can get is lower than in the United States. I’m talking about a timeline of one or two months. Sure if I lived there forever I’d land some decent girls, but why bother when there’s this big country that starts with a B right next door, where women have healthy attitudes towards sex and like wearing high heels instead of dirty Converse shoes or cheap boots.

9. I don’t want to make it sound like you can’t get laid there. I personally know tons of guys who have and even a few who got one-night stands. But compared to other places, the amount of work you have to put in for something average is insanely high. I’ve never seen a gringo with an Argentine girl who was higher than a 6, which means I’ve never been jealous of something a gringo has pulled. But in Brazil it’s happened several times.

10. My Argentine lady friend says that once you have sex with an Argentine, the floodgates open. But that’s how it is in Colombia and Brazil as well. Argentine girls think this compensates for their pre-sex craziness, but they obviously haven’t banged girls from other countries. Argentine women are simply not vale la pena (worth the pain) that it takes to get them in bed. Stop by Buenos Aires to get your flag by visiting some Irish pubs, where the women are more progressive, older, and speak English, then get the hell out and head to Colombia or Brazil.

Why Travel To A Country That Is Harder To Get Laid Than The U.S.?

Here’s a comment I received:

“I always kind of got the impression that THE major benefit of going to places like Colombia was that they were stocked full of beautiful women (way more 8s, 9s, 10s per capita than the U.S.) and you could seriously do way better there quality-wise than you could in the states: i.e. if the best you could probably get in the U.S. (or whatever your native country is) is a 7.5-8 if you REALLY worked for it, then if you go to Colombia or Brazil or Eastern Europe, then the best you could get might be a 8.5-9, maybe even a 10. Do you agree?”

Unfortunately no. Your quality dips when you go to countries like Argentina, and to a lesser extent, Argentina. Even if you’re fluent in Spanish, it will be rare you pull better than you did in the States without a lot of time and an enormous amount of effort. So why do it?

I was out with a guy from New York on Thursday at a Medellin club called Babylon that has the best ladies night in the city. The first 60 girls get in free while everyone else has to pay $15 for an open bar. The point is to get there early to be greeted by tables of girls sitting alone without guys, a rare sight here as everyone goes out in mixed groups. I was talking to my friend at the main bar while warming up with the local drink (aguaardiente). Eventually I asked him why he’s in Colombia when it’s significantly harder to get laid, since as a man with game he didn’t have problems back in the States. He looked at me and just shrugged his shoulders, but I understood him completely.

Sure if I think about it I can come up with valid reasons. I’m here because it’s hard. Because it’s different. Because if it was easy everyone else would be doing it. Because it challenges me. Because the world is a big place. Because I don’t like comfort or stability. Because I’m young. Because the air tastes different. Because it’s cheaper. Because I like taking risks. Because I like speaking a different language. Because I like variety. Because the alternative of living in an American city with an American girlfriend doesn’t appeal to me. Because when I’m on my death bed and look back on my life, I want to see one that was well-lived full of rich experiences, not one of missed opportunity and regret.

I’ve been bitched incredibly hard in South America. I’ve never been so disrespected and so flaked on by women than I have in Colombia and Argentina. I’m talking about ego-shattering treatment that would lead to a hatred of women in weaker men. But I still do it, and all the reasons above are just things I came up with after the fact. It’s a game, and I keep going until I get what I want. It’s either in you or not.

If you’re not willing to work harder than you ever have in your life, for returns that are far from guaranteed, then I advise you stay in the United States.

Brazilian, Argentine, and American Girls

Brazilian girl: “Where are you from?”

Argentine girl: *Crickets*

American girl: “What do you do?”

Brazilian: Open toe slippers with a unique design

Argentine: Cheap boots

American: Target brand flip-flops

Brazilian: Hair length depends on current life stage

Argentine: Has either Argentine Girl Haircut #1 (long, with bangs) or Argentine Girl Haircut #2 (long, without bangs)

American: Short because long hair was “boring” or “too much work”

Brazilian: Makeout within 30 minutes

Argentine: Makeout if you played the game right, if the moon is aligned with Jupiter, and if her friends and little cousins like you

American: Makeout within 90 minutes

Brazilian: She feels comfortable after sex

Argentine: She feels like she just carried out an important life decision after sex

American: She feels like a slut after sex

Brazilian: Clingy

Argentine: Distant

American: Low self-esteem

Brazilian: Gives you head

Argentine: Does not give you head

American: Gives you head if you imply, but secretly hates it

Brazilian: Anal region exploration strongly encouraged

Argentine: Anal regions forbidden

American: Depends on level of intoxication

Brazilian: Has two or three caiprinha’s

Argentine: Has only one drink, the free one that came with her cover charge

American: Stops drinking when she can no longer feel her friends judging her

Brazilian: Knows how to shake and jiggle her entire body

Argentine: Knows how to dance to house music without showing any sexuality

American: Knows how to rub her ass on a man’s erection

Brazilian: Five second marathon eye contact

Argentine: No eye contact

American: Multiple one-second eye contacts

Brazilian: Treats you so well you wonder why she likes you that much

Argentine: Treats you like you are that guy on the corner selling hot dogs

American: Treats you like her favorite coworker

Brazilian: Asks you if you are on Orkut

Argentine: Asks you if you are on MSN Chat

American: Google’s you the second she finds out your last name and uses results to judge your long-term relationship potential

Brazilian: Licks your face

Argentine: Kisses like her parents are watching

American: Sucks your neck

Brazilian: “Dance With Me” by 112

Argentine: “Enjoy The Silence” by Depeche Mode

American: “Back That Ass Up” by Juvenile

Brazilian: Most extra fat winds up in ass

Argentine: Borderline anorexic

American: Rolls of meat around waist

Brazilian: “I like you”

Argentine: Pretends she doesn’t like you when she really does

American: “You’re nice”

Brazilian: Likes social drinking with friends

Argentine: Likes people watching with friends

American: Likes watching TV alone at home with tub of ice cream

Brazilian: Ugly tattoos

Argentine: Ugly piercings and ugly sunglasses

American: Ugly everything

Brazilian: “I need to bang that.”

Argentine: “Wow she is really pretty.”

American: “She looks easy.”

Brazilian: Answers the phone

Argentine: Responds to text messages

American: Would miss the call from the President of France

Brazilian: If you like emotional girls who want to please you

Argentine: If you like frigid girls who chain smoke and act stupid

American: If you like frigid girls who act stupid

It is possible that my experience with Brazilian girls have been extraordinary, but then I wouldn’t be the only one.

II: GUIDES

Argentina Overview

Argentina is a very modern and safe country with all the amenities you’d expect at home. Less chaotic than countries like nearby Peru, Bolivia, and Ecuador, Argentina is best if you want to relax, go out at night, and see some incredible sights. And it’s all relatively cheap.

Prices

Basic set lunch: $3.50

Bottle of big beer: $1.25

Cappuccino: $1.25

Internet per hour: $0.50

Hostel dorm bed per night: $10.00

Nice steak dinner: $10.00

Short taxi ride: $2.50

Postcard stamp: $1.33

Safety

While robberies do happen, especially at bus stations, it’s not that easy to meet people who have been crime victims in Argentina. Even walking on the streets in the middle of the night is not automatically dangerous like in other South American countries. It’s still advised to take cabs when there aren’t many people around, but here you can let your guard down just a little and enjoy yourself.

Buenos Aires

Too big, too expensive, and too polluted. While there are many interesting activities here, cut your time in Buenos Aires short to visit more relaxed cities such as Mendoza, Córdoba, and Salta, though one advantage here is that more girls speak English.

There are many neighborhoods to stay in, from the rich (Palermo and Recoleta) to the working class (San Telmo). If you want to be close to the action, head straight to the microcenter. The nightlife in Palermo is overhyped, and even if you are staying there you still need to take a taxi to the clubs. San Telmo is nice if you want to sleep.

Change of hooking up rating: 3 out of 5 (higher is better) 

Daytime

In Palermo, go to Piccolo near JL Borges and Uriate for excellent pastries and empanada lunches. Look for the huge sign. When you want to spy on girls doing aerobics, go to Always Gym on Paraguay between JL Borges and Gurruchaga. For butter soft steak, visit Don Julio on the intersection of Guatemala and Gurruchaga.

For cheap tango shows in San Telmo, inquire at Centro Cultural Torquato Tasso (Defensa 1575). Some nights are free. Also recommended is a trip to La Boca’s touristy area by the river. Watch tango shows for the drop of spare change in the hat.

Nightlife

Plaza Serrano in Palermo has a dozen bars, but they are of the sit-down variety. Mint (Costanera Norte and Sarmiento) on Friday is good if you like cocaine. Otherwise take the 30-minute cab ride to Sunset for their foam party (Roque Sáenz Peña 440 in Olivos). On Saturday in Palermo, Crobar is the obvious, somewhat reliable choice, though it’s next to a transsexual park (Av. del Libertador 3883). Niceto (Niceto Vega 5510) is a sausage fest with good house music on Thursday. If you like to spend lots of money, go to the clubs in Puerto Madero, specifically Asia de Cuba.

Compared to Córdoba or Salta, the nightlife here is massively overhyped. You pay four times more for much less. The girls speak more English but there are just as messed up in the head as the other cities.

Sleep

Tango Backpackers at Paraguay 4601 in Palermo. $12/night for dorm. Party hostel with plenty of people to go out with at night, though it can be annoying with all the young guys trying to get on the girls. Has breakfast, barely adequate kitchen, and wireless internet. (http://www.tangobp.com)

An excellent source of hostel listings for all Argentine cities is Hostel Trail (http://www.hosteltrail.com).

Córdoba

Córdoba is one of the best cities in South America. Seven universities nearby make this the town to hit on super pretty Argentine girls, with an average age under 23. Lively nightlife starts on Thursday. For those that want to take a break from girls and booze, the nearby countryside makes for nice outdoor excursions.

Chance Of Hooking Up Rating: 4 out of 5

Daytime

Start your day at the Express Panaderia coffee shop bakery on the corner of Rondeau and Obispo Treo. Later hit the Palestra gym on Estrada between Ituzaingo and Buenos Aires. A day pass costs $3.50. Near the gym is Parque Sarmiento, good for lounging around, but better people watching can be done in the center near Plaza San Martin and the many nearby pedestrian streets.

Take your wingman to the University of Córdoba lounge area (in the main building on the east side of Obsispo Trejo between Corrientes and Entre Rios) to hit on an unlimited supply of girls. You’ll need a cell phone to get numbers since Argentine girls are not the most open to one-night stands. Buy one prepaid at the Movistar office half a block away from the Express Panaderia. If you bring your own unlocked cell phone you only need to buy a SIM card from any cellular vendor.

Check out the Dom Tomi chicken place on the corner of Av Velez Sarsfield and Fructuoso Rivera. It has perhaps the best barbeque chicken in Argentina, and is an excellent protein injection after a tough workout. Il Panino on the edge of Estrada near Plaza Espana has good sandwiches. Las Tinajas (Bv San Juan 35) is a gigantic all-you-can-eat restaurant and Johnny B Good (H. Irigoyen and Independencia) has American-inspired cuisine, which means fried fatty food.

To brush up on your Spanish, head to Able Language School on Caseros 369 (http://www.ablespanish.com). For a discount tell them that Roosh sent you.

Nightlife

It can take a year to really explore the nightlife here. It seems that on every other corner there is a club that somehow packs ‘em in on the weekend, but your best options are: the bars on Rondeau street between Independencia and Chacabuco (good for starting the night), the clubs nearby across the river in Abasto, and the clubs 15 minutes out by taxi in Chateau. Of course Chateau has the best looking girls. If you are unable to find a cab back from Chateau, inquire about the bus.

Some good club picks: Mitre, Club F, Peekaboo, and Dorian Gray, which are described in the next section.

When it’s time to seal the deal, try Hotel Madrid on Obispo Trejo between Laprida and San Luis. If it’s full there are two other hotels within sight, with Hotel Trejo being the most seedy (red lights in the rooms).

Sleep

Che Salguero Hostel at Obispo Salguero 724. $11/night for dorm room. Currently the best hostel in Córdoba, and one of the funnest I’ve stayed in. The three Argentine guys who own it do their best to make your stay enjoyable, though beware that it does attract the party crowd. (http://www.chesalguero.com/en)

Rosario

The rough-and-tumble big sister to Córdoba, Rosario unfortunately doesn’t have the same pleasing vibe. While there are pretty girls around, especially on the tiny river beach and at the clubs at night, this is a working class town, not a university one.

Chance Of Hooking Up Rating: 3 out of 5

Daytime

Go up the Monumento Nacional a la Bandera for mediocre views of the city (shown in the above photo). Then catch bus 153 on the corner of Córdoba and Corrientes to the river beach (get off around Av Puccio), where you will find girls in bikinis with their families swimming in filthy water. Mundo Gym awaits your pecks on San Lorenzo between Entre Rios and Mitre.

For pizza and sandwich fare try Pizza Piazza at Maipu and Córdoba. El Cairo at Sarmiento and Sante Fe has a gigantic menu of budget pleasers.

Nightlife

Rosario doesn’t have a pub or club street like other cities. You will have to do a lot of asking around when you arrive in order to find decent spots, but don’t expect much before Thursday night.

The two clubs I recommend are Listen! and MDM. See the following section for more detail.

Sleep

Che Pampas at Rioja 812. $10/night for dorm room. Plush lodgings that remind me of a European hostel with all the annoying timed lights. Not much of a scene here but you will run into some Argentine travellers. Staff is extremely helpful. This is the only hostel I’ve stayed at where on departure they wait outside with you until you catch a taxi.

(http://www.chepampas.com/)

Córdoba & Rosario Nightlife

Argentine nightlife is much different than in the U.S. since you don’t go out until 2 or 3am. This makes for an interesting cat-like sleep schedule. After 6am you can party until the next afternoon by going to a series of afterhour clubs. (Some clubs only serve the purpose of being the after afterhour club.) The longest I could go was until 8am. There is a point you just look at the people still dancing and say, “This is stupid I’m not even horny anymore,” and hail a cab with the sun in your face. The endurance champion is an Argentine guy I met named Flaco. Once him and his crew stayed out until 9am and then went straight to the pool until 2pm. They all collapsed when they came back, reeking of beer and chlorine.

They funny thing is that most people have regular jobs. Many times I’m talking to someone in a club and they inform me they have to be at work in two hours.

Córdoba

Mitre (Marcelo T. de Alvear 635). If you don’t want to meet any girls over 22 then come here. Music is top notch with a good mix of just about everything except salsa. This is the easiest place to find 16-year-olds, if you are into that sort of thing. Go starting on Thursday. $4 cover with one beer included.

Pobre Diablo. The afterhours club next to Mitre that reminds me of Club 5 in DC before it got shut down. There’s no point going here unless you already have a chick because there are packs of drunk guys putting in one last ditch effort to get laid. $3 cover for guys.

Dorian Gray (Las Heras and Roque Saenz Peña in Abasto). Relatively new club that is popular on Saturday nights. Main floor plays house and a smaller room plays retro and even some hip hop. A little weird with the transsexuals walking around but I’ve had the most luck with Córdoba girls here. $5 cover with beer.

Club F. Way out in the boonies (Chateau) but worth it. Contains perhaps the hottest collection of girls I’ve seen anywhere, though they aren’t easy. Because no gringos make it out here your status will get you farther than back in town. Downside is that catching a cab back is so difficult that you may have to find a bus (people get so desperate that they throw themselves in front of cabs). Still, it doesn’t get better than this. Go on Saturday. $5 cover with beer.

Rondeau Street Bars. Several blocks of just bars and clubs. The clubs are smaller than the ones above but they have friendlier girls. Don’t be scared to approach large groups of girls sitting down. There is also a few bars around where Fuctuoso Rivera turns into Larranaga. It’s dead here from Sunday until Tuesday.

Rosario Nightlife

Listen! (Colombres and Castagnino). Yeah there is an exclamation point in the name. Pretty decent club/bar combo that isn’t too large and doesn’t have a lot of gringos. The girls here are much friendlier than what you’d find in a nearby megaclub such as…

MDM (Brown and Av. Francia). I have a feeling this club used to be a factory judging by the huge chimney stack in the back. It’s now a pussy factory, with more hot girls in one place than entire U.S. cities. Unfortunately there are more guys to match them and the girls here have an attitude problem, especially after 3:30am or so. In fact, one of my wingmen got violently slapped. It was kind of my fault when I accidentally pushed his hand on a girl’s ass, but still, he didn’t have to squeeze. We should have stayed at Listen! Helpful tip: the club’s name is pronounced like Madame. $3 cover with beer.

One thing I really like about Argentine clubs is that there isn’t the obsession on making a buck with table service, though I’m sure it’s just a matter of time until that changes. Missing are those guys who want you to look at them because they are able to pay a 700% premium on a bottle of “French” vodka that a French person has never heard of.

Salta

Depending on where you came from, Salta is either the most amazing medium-sized town in the universe or just an average place. I came from Bolivia, so for me it was like Xanadu. A lively nightlife will keep you busy with something to do every night of the week.

Chance Of Hooking Up Rating: 4 out of 5

Daytime

Check out Alvarez Restaurant for cheap sandwiches and stuffed pizzas on the corner of Buenos Aires and San Martín. New Times Cafe on the main square has moist chocolate cake and smooth cappuccino. They have free wireless internet as well.

The girl mummy is housed at the Museo de Arqueología de Alta Montaña in Plaza 9 de Julio. Her skin is better preserved than the elderly. There are other things to do if you don’t wake up every day at 2pm like I did, such as churches, museums, waterfalls, and a cable car ride.

Nightlife

The best restaurant in town is El Solar de Covento (Caseros 444), located a stone’s throw away from Iglesia San Francisco. You will spend under $20 for fine dining with incredible food and desserts.

For Salta nightlife, read the following section, which describes the scene from Wednesday through Sunday, including details like cover charges. The highlight includes Friday night at XXI (Veinte Uno), a girl-packed club on the active Balcarce strip.

Sleep

Hostel Terra Oculta at Córdoba 361. $9/night for dorm room. I really enjoyed this hostel. The young guys who work here love going out and the Wednesday & Saturday barbecue has great food and a fun atmosphere. Free internet is fast and showers are always hot. There is a nice kitchen for your cooking pleasure. Just be sure to lodge in the main building instead of the quieter annex. (http://www.terraoculta.com)

Salta Nightlife

Salta is the farthest up you can go into Argentina without seeing any inbreeding with the less attractive Bolivian race. I studied Salta’s nightlife for a week.

Wednesday. I was lucky enough to meet Keith, an Irish guy committed to going out more than me. We went to Salon VIP (Av. Richeri 50) where they played reggaeton, salsa, and cumbia, apparently like most other clubs in town (two or three American hip hop songs are thrown in, always including the American classic “Yeah” by Usher). Coming from Bolivia this club was paradise, with cute girls averaging 17-24 years in age. A group of four Argentine English teachers approached us and kept us busy until the club closed at 5am. Similar to a problem I had in Lima, we debated if we could do better. $4 cover with free gigantic beer.

Thursday. I tagged along with a few French twenty-somethings to Line Out, a club way out in the suburbs of Tres Cerritos (Los Jazmines 704 and Los Mandarinos). This was the first night that I got to witness the horrible game of Argentine guys, who seem to be more concerned with proving to their guy friends they are macho than actually getting girls. An opener I saw a few times is pulling a girl’s hair (it never worked). $3 cover.

Friday. Two Dutch girls and I started the night in a club called Mao Mao (Ruta 51 Km. 3), a place where 40-something Argentines come to get laid (on Friday nights, anyway). “Everybody Dance Now” played alongside Madonna as I stood in shock watching the Argentine version of my parents nearly grinding with each other on the dance floor. We stayed there for 45 minutes, mostly to wait for our next destination to get going since it was “only” 2AM. $4 cover with free drink.

We end up in Metropoli (in Limache), a club packed with young people dancing to reggaeton and cumbia. Here I learned that it’s efficient to go after gigantic groups of girls because there is always one bound to speak English, though it’s usually not the cutest one. On this night I couldn’t drink because I started a course of cipro to kill remaining stomach issues that started in Bolivia, but it didn’t matter much because the girls themselves don’t drink like they do in the States. Instead, they have their free drink then just dance the rest of the night. Being sober in an Argentine club is easier and more acceptable than at home. $5 cover with free drink.

Saturday. We have a winner! Club XXI (Veinte Uno) is on Balcarce, the strip where all the gringos and young Argentines go. There were three girls for every two guys, most of them in their early 20s. Excellent house and reggaeton set the mood. It doesn’t get much better than this, and while the girls were of average friendliness, a little effort goes a long way into finding one that is both nice and cute. $5 cover with free drink.

Sunday. Back to Salon VIP for their pre-Columbus day bash. Not liking the block-long line, my Dutch wingman and I decided to bribe the bouncer with a 50 peso bill (about $16 US). He lets us in without taking the money. The girls here were the least friendly of all the nights even though they were the ugliest (I’m starting to think it’s a response to the aggressiveness of the guys). It was so packed that the only way to get through was to hold up your full beer like a torch to clear a path. For the first time ever I saw music video mixing.

A strange policy of Salta’s clubs is that you must keep the same glass for the entire night or pay $0.75 for another one. You must also pay if you try to leave the club without a glass. What this means is that you have a bunch of guys walking around with empty cocktail glasses in their jean pockets. As a relatively wealthy gringo I am unaffected by the puny fine so I just pay the charge repeatedly throughout the night.

While the Miraflores areas of Lima had more head-turners, Salta has a very good foundation of cute girls in the 7 and 8 range with few fatties.

Mendoza

If you like wine then Mendoza is the city to visit. Multiple vineyards surround the city, accessible by bicycle or bus. Large sidewalks, nice squares, hot girls, and a couple large parks make this a pleasant place to be.

Chance Of Hooking Up Rating: 2 out of 5

Daytime

The pedestrian street off Plaza Independencia has many cafes and fashionable shops. Urban Cafe at Av Colon 450 is a nice place to take your laptop and sip cappuccino. For excellent Middle Eastern food try Cocinca Poblada at Av Villaneuva 217.

Nightlife

Dozens of bars and restaurants line Av Villaneuva but they are of the sit-down and people-watching variety. For the club scene to start you have to wait for Thursday night. Whatever you do, don’t go to La Reserva near the corner of Peatonal Sarmiento and Av San Martin—it’s a transsexual bar.

Mendoza has an extremely high number of attractive girls per capita, so it would be a good idea to plan coming here on the weekend.

Sleep

Itaka Hostel at Villanueva 480. $8.25/night for dorm room. Decent hostel with kitchen, breakfast, cable TV, pool table, swimming pool, and ping-pong table. Close to the bars but about a mile from the city center. Staff is friendly and knowledgeable. (http://www.itakahostel.com.ar)

Puerto Iguazu

Puerto Iguazu is good for two things: visiting the awesome Iguazu Falls and getting your Brazilian visa in under 30 minutes. Town is relaxing but the heat is oppressive.

Change of hooking up rating: 2 out of 5

Daytime

For the falls, catch a bus from the main terminal to Parque Nacional Iguazu. Entrance is $13 for full day access to the park. At the minimum, do the upper trial, lower trail, and train ride to the Garganta del Diablo (Devil’s Throat). Bring an extra camera battery and at least a liter of water.

Hop on a Tres Fronteras bus (ask for information at the bus station) to the three borders area of Paraguay, Brazil, and Argentina for some picture taking.

Brazilian Consulate is a block away from the bus station. Hours are 8am-2pm.

Nightlife

Parilla Pizza Color restaurant has nice meals. It’s on Av Córdoba between Belgrano and Av Misiones.

Cuba Libre at Av Brasil and Paraguay is the default club in town but it is big, hot, loud, and impersonal, with crooked doormen trying to squeeze extra pesos out of gringos. Several other sit-down bars are on the same block (La Tribu is owned by the same guy), but aren’t much better. Since this is a tiny town, you’d expect kinder treatment from the girls, but because of tourist fatigue it’s the same rotten attitude as even larger cities. Skip all that mess and head to La Barranca, a Brazilian club on Av Brasil between Av Misiones and Av Victoria Aguirre. The Brazilian girls will treat you better.

Sleep

Hostel Park Iguazu at Paulino Amarante 111. $12/night for dorm. Tiny but clean 4-bed air-conditioned dorms have individual bathrooms. Murky, green pool out back. Common area feels like a cheap restaurant, making it more difficult to meet other travelers. Staff is friendly and hostel is conveniently located close to the bus station.

(http://www.hostelparkiguazu.com)

El Calafate

Welcome to Patagonia! While El Calafate exists solely to cater to tourists, it’s still a must-visit if you can swing the expense. Other than touring the glaciers, there is not much to do here. Expect to pay prices 100% greater than what you’d find in the cities.

Chance Of Hooking Up Rating: 1 out of 5

Daytime

I recommend the six-hour tour to see the amazing Perito Moreno Glacier, with an optional boat ride to get up close. You also get to watch huge pieces of ice fall from the lookout patio. Lots of tours can take you there but Always Glaciers is competent (http://www.alwaysglaciers.com). Also recommended is the full day Upsala tour to view several other glaciers. It’s a bit touristy though, with the screaming four-year-olds and old people shoving you for a picture. Don’t bother with the Torres del Paine (Chile) day trip because 95% of the time you’ll sit on the bus looking out the window. For hiking, hop on a four hour bus to El Chantel.

For food try the Il Postino pasta place on 9 de Julio between Av Libertador and Gregores. Next to that is a bakery for cheap breakfast and next to that is a grocery store, but bring your own plastic bags (weird, I know). Internet around town is slow and expensive.

Nightlife

Pretty dead but there are a couple watering holes off the main strip.

Sleep

Calafate Hostel at Moyano 1226. $10/night for dorm. The only thing that makes this hostel bearable is the funny German guy who works the front desk. He will go out of his way to help make an itinerary for you and do all the necessary bookings. Overall it’s a loser because of a serious bed bug infestation. Hostel itself is huge and modern with 4 and 6-bed dorms. Breakfast and internet are extra. (http://www.calafatehostels.com)

El Chaltén

This town is like a much smaller version of El Calafate, catering mostly to hikers. I recommend you come here before El Calafate so you can end your Patagonia experience with the magnificent glaciers. While the hikes are not bad, you will see nothing that several other South American countries offer in their Andes region (Huaraz in Peru is best for treks.) There are no ATMs in town.

Chance Of Hooking Up Rating: 1 out of 5

Daytime

Your bus will stop at the Park Office where they give you a map with possible hikes. Most popular are ones to Lago Capri to see Fitz Roy (3405m) and Lago Torre to see Glacier Grande and Cerro Torre (3102 m). Both can be done on daytrips, about 3 hours one way. If you are looking for adventure, head on to Laguna Toro hike (7 hours one way). There are also shorter hikes for the lazy or feeble. There is a supermarket on the main street (Av San Martin) to stock up on provisions.

Nightlife

I think I saw a bar on the main street.

Sleep

Rancho Grande Hostel at San Martin 724. $16/night for dorm. Comfortable hostel that is slightly better than Calafate Hostel. They allow smoking in the common areas, unfortunately. Internet is astronomically priced. (http://www.ranchograndehostel.com)

Safety In South America

The following ranking is based on your chances of getting robbed by a pick pocket or mugger. I’m not counting murders or kidnapping. To construct this list I used personal experience and stories that came back to me from other travelers. It’s by no means scientific, but should give you a good idea of what to expect. From most dangerous to safest…

1. Brazil. Everyone seems to get robbed here. All my Brazilian friends have been robbed many many times and I think it was a miracle that I wasn’t, especially during Carnival. This country is not for beginners.

2. Ecuador. Den of thieves. Problem here is pick pocketing and bag theft on buses. Everyone has either been robbed or almost robbed in Quito (I was pick pocketed).

3. Venezuela. I was there in 2005 but hear it’s since gotten significantly worse. Caracas is the most dangerous city in South America.

4. Peru. I think there is so much crime here because you have a lot of beginner tourists wanting to see Machu Picchu. Mostly pick pockets and bus theft.

5. Paraguay. I haven’t heard a lot of stories out of here, and I only spent a week in the capital. It’s on par with Bolivia and Peru.

6. Bolivia. Outside of La Paz, the danger factor is average. In the medium sized cities I’ve walked around at night without problems.

7. Colombia. Surprisingly safe if you take basic precautions in cities at night. There are lots of expats here and on average they’ve been mugged “only” once every year or two.

8. Argentina. Buenos Aires does get a few gringos, but as a whole the country is very safe and I’ve stumbled out of clubs in the middle of the night dozens of times without problems. I don’t know anyone personally who has been robbed in Argentina and I spent almost four months there.

9. Uruguay. The beach towns are extremely safe. You can leave your belongings for a quick swim and be reasonably certain they’ll be there when you come back. A good beginner trip would be Argentina and then Uruguay.

10. Chile. It’s very similar to Argentina but I’m giving it the title of safest South American country because I took the Santiago subway with my 40-pound pack to the bus station. Valparaiso has sketchy areas at night but you can tone down the paranoia factor a bit here.

Even though Chile is the “safest” country in South America, keep in mind it’s around two times more dangerous than Washington DC at night. You’ll definitely feel it when the sun comes down. Wherever I am in South America, I fully expect to be robbed every time I walk out the door, so I only take what I need. Worst case I’m out 50 bucks and an old digital camera. My only fear is getting my entire bag robbed.

III: STORIES

The Newspaper Bag Lady

My first night in Buenos Aires I went to a restaurant with two Australians I knew from Córdoba. After our meal, a woman who looked around 40 came inside the restaurant with a stack of newspapers and walked to our table. Before she had a chance to open her mouth I told her we don’t speak Spanish. She said that’s fine because she speaks English, that she is homeless and selling newspapers for about 75 cents. I ignored her, brushed her aside like she was nobody. You have people coming at you with their pitch so many times a day that it’s hard not to develop a shield to it.

Twelve days later I got a large cheese pizza for takeout and ate it at the hostel. The pizza was so good that the only thing to do the grease justice was to wash it down with a coke. I went to the kiosco across the street and was second in line behind a woman. She paid and through the cage I asked for my coke. Trying to explain I wanted the mas pequeña size, my horrible Spanish accent got her attention and she looked at me. I recognized her as the woman trying to sell the newspapers.

I don’t remember who spoke first, but she asked me where I was from and said I looked Argentine. I joked how no Argentine guy has as much body hair as me. We talked for about five minutes, about left and right brain differences, how she likes art, how my scientist gig didn’t do it for me, and how her engineer friend has social issues. We were two strangers having an interesting conversation.

She had a large bag on her shoulder which contained the newspapers. I was waiting for her to ask me to buy me one, which I was happily going to do. But she never asked. I felt ashamed.

It’s Going To Be Hard To Leave

If you Google “Argentina models” (or just “models”), you will see nothing better than what I see every day and night. It’s a parade of beautiful girls. As one guy told me, “It’s like they’ve discovered how to engineer hot girls here.” I’ve become so desensitized to it that the only girls I notice are the ones who really stand out—the ugly ones. It’s so brutal to be unattractive here that moving to Chile or the United States would be your only option.

Having a round, proportional ass is such a given that there is no need for me to check them out anymore. But I look anyway to see how nice it is. You know those cheesy beer commercials with the party of very pretty girls? It’s better than that. Very few girls are overweight and all of them—even the tomboys—have beautiful long hair. The only women who have hair shorter than me are the rocker wannabes or women over 40, but even that is rare because apparently older women here believe in still looking like a woman. Maybe I’m overhyping things, but it really is that much better than back home. When you ask someone how long they’ve been in town, the answer is usually three days. Here in Córdoba I’ve gotten several answers approaching two months

Still, many have complained about how “tough” Argentine girls are, but I wonder if that is just beta-speak for, “They don’t approach me like the girls in Peru.” The girls here will not encourage you, will never approach, will not make any sort of eye contact, and will do everything in their power to make it seem like they don’t want to know you. It’s so bad that I’m confident the word unapproachable came from Argentina, but once you crack it, you’re home sweet home.

In Chile I was advised by a native in a club bathroom to dump my bad Spanish and just open in English to be even more different and exotic. I go up to a group and say something in English or just, “You guys speak English, yes?” It opens better than anything else I’ve tried. In Argentina, depending on the club, it takes only a few approaches to get “in” with a group. It’s the same amount of work you’d have to put in a U.S. megaclub, but unlike the U.S. there are no morbidly obese warpigs in the group. Usually all are good. I tell the gameless gringos I meet here that all they gotta do is speak English, but even while drunk they are too scared to approach. They just stand there, getting drunk alone while bobbing their head to house music I know they don’t like, whining about how they can’t wait to get to Brazil. I often have to ditch them in the club because they just fuck things up.

On Saturday night I went to a club called Dorian Gray that surprisingly wasn’t gay. I started talking to three 8s. Two of them were fraternal twins, with hair almost touching their ass, and all had bodies that would break my buddies’ necks back at home. I wished I brought my camera. It is very difficult for any reasonable man to choose between the three. While the problem is other countries is “Can I do better?” the problem here is “Which one should I pick?”

Girls usually go out in large packs so the biggest problem is indeed the picking. When all of them are giving you an equal vibe and they are all on the same level, it’s hard to make a wise decision. If you pick poorly then it will be all for nothing because not only will the girl who liked you go cold because you didn’t pick her, but her friend will, too, since she knows her friend liked you. Argentine girls are too proud to be second best. So I’ve adopted a mediocre, passive strategy of not picking. I make progress on the group and just wait until one of them gives me a green light. Sometimes the green light comes late, but it comes. With four girls in Salta I didn’t know what was going on until one of them asked me to sit with her in the front of the cab at the end of the night. It’s so ambiguous that I’ve seriously contemplated just asking “So which one of you likes me the most?”

Dorian Gray closed at 6AM so we hopped in a cab to the after-hours club called “The Poor Devil.” The girls wouldn’t let me pay the cab fare. Finally, after almost three hours, the green light comes: one of them grabs my hand and walks me to the bar. She buys me a drink and refuses to let me pay for it. And I do mean refuse—I picked her up to physically move her away from the bar, but she still insisted. She’s a 22-year-old student. That sort of thing never happens to me at home.

They walked me back to my hostel a few blocks away, but then the two other girls started hovering like helicopters. Isolate or die, or as a buddy of mine used to say, divide and conquer. Now the other sister is on me talking about hanging out. Are they just being friendly? But I’ve never held hands with a lady friend before. And why did she keep asking me how long I was staying in town? The sun is out now and I’m so exhausted I can’t think. It’s 7am and on the streets instead of seeing professionals in suits or storekeepers tending shop you got dozens of drunk guys singing and running and playfully hitting on the girls milling around.

Guys get laid by either mostly luck or mostly skill. It’s luck if you switch yourself with another random guy and sex would still occur. That means you got the girl at the right moment. There is nothing wrong with that, but you would be unable to consciously duplicate your effort. Otherwise, you did something that created attraction and sexual desire and it was only you she wanted. And then you try again the next night, with a better than average chance of succeeding.

The gringos I’ve met that have a sex story got it by luck, plain and simple. Only one Israeli guy has been the exception. I wish I could learn some new things, but the typical story is a gringo goes to a bar, a horny 5 or 6 approaches him, and he goes with it and gets some if her bedroom is far enough from her parents room or if he finds a hotel room. Only here have I heard “…and then she just kissed me.” If you are so oblivious to a girl’s attraction to you that she has to make the big move then I know you’re struggling for girls back at home and that’s the reason why you enjoy traveling to third world countries so much.

Standing with the three pretty Argentine girls next to my hostel door, I knew I couldn’t get any further. After nearly four hours with them, I accepted defeat and settled for green light’s phone number. Then, to validate the confusion and ambiguity I’ve been trying to explain to you, the sister asked me for my cell phone number. The next day I seek out the Argentines working at the hostel to explain to me what the deal is, but they are as confused as I was.

Two days later she responds to my initial text message twenty minutes after I sent it. She! used! a! lot! of! exclamation! points!!! but I loved it. I like chasing girls and putting in work from start to finish, much more than a random club make-out that ends once the cab drives away. I’m sweating bullets trying to translate my game into Spanish but with the hostel chef’s help the messages are going and coming. If it’s not difficult and doesn’t have an awesome payoff, it wouldn’t even be worth thinking about.

I was hanging outside on the sidewalk with a Canadian who was digging into some watermelon. Right by us walks a girl in gym clothes, as close to Western perfection as you can get, more attractive than any female I’d see back at home in half a year. But there are no hoots and hollers, no obvious stares. She is very beautiful, but she’s not rare here, and at night the club will be full of girls like her. Yeah, it’ll be hard to leave, but harder not to come back.

Big Ice Of Patagonia

I resisted for a month. Travelling through central Argentina, through fun college towns and wine land, I told myself I wouldn’t visit Patagonia. I don’t have the hiking gear or the cold weather clothing. I don’t have the money. But then I saw pictures of the glaciers staring at me from a hostel computer screen. Apparently it’s true—you don’t need to be in Antarctica to view these enormous rivers of ice. I’d be stupid to miss it. Three days and a $200 flight ticket later I was sitting in steerage class to El Calafate, near the Southern tip of Argentina.

El Calafate is base camp for exploring Patagonia, thanks to being centrally located to several nearby glaciers. It is named after the raspberry-tasting calafate plant, which grows nearby and gives purple fruit that you can taste in jams and liquors. With log cabins everywhere, you’d think you just arrived at a kids’ summer camp, but then the tourist nature of the town hits you with the inflated prices and an absence of locals visiting shops on the well-manicured main street.

The first glacier you’ll see is Perito Moreno, only an hour out of town. It was discovered by an Argentine explorer named Francisco Moreno, who was given large swaths of land by the Argentine government as a gift for his Patagonian discoveries. But the nice chap he was, he gave it back and it’s now part of the national park. The Moreno glacier flows into two milky green lakes, colored that way thanks to the minerals Moreno brings as it scrapes the rock bed. Like most other glaciers, Moreno is fed with layers of snow that pack in higher altitudes. It flows thanks to gravity. This glacier jams against a jut of land in between the two lakes, and every four years or so the dam that forms collapses in spectacular fashion.

I took the optional boat ride to get up close to the 500-year-old Moreno. The nice summer day was quickly disturbed by the cold wind coming off the glacier, with its blue-hued caves and jagged leaning spires, ready to clave off and crash into the water. It advances towards you at up to two meters per day, like a slow-moving blob, constantly crackling as if talking, teasing you like it’s about to give you the most best action you’ve ever seen. Later on the lookout balcony I stared at the glacier with my tour group of gringos, cameras ready, amazed that this gigantic ice cube exists on our planet and it has taken me so long to see it. I could have even trekked on it if I wished.

Wanting more, I took the all-day catamaran ride that featured the Upsala glacier. I knew I was in trouble when the presence of families made me feel like I was at a Disney On Ice show. (There is always at least one 4-year-old who cries throughout the entire performance). I was with the type of tourist who has “Rob Me” plastered on their face, with their mammoth cameras and passport holder draped around the neck, but at least they’re safe here.

I crowded out on the deck with them to take pictures of Upsala, the second biggest glacier in the Patagonian ice field at 60 km long and 4 km wide. Unfortunately the glacier is retreating rapidly, like most other glaciers in the world. If you consider glaciers to be these living, natural beasts, their retreat means death, and within a few generations your only way to see them will be hopping on a multi-thousand dollar cruise to Antarctica (Moreno is the exception, considered stable by geologists). The many icebergs floating in the water made the boat ride more interesting than it should have been because as you know from the fate of the Titanic, most of their mass is underwater.

The power that big ice has to lift your spirits. You forget the frustrating touristy aspect of the boat tours after spending time staring and listening, waiting for the next crash. This is nature’s more interesting version of watching paint dry. It gave me enough cheer to go on a one day tour to Torres del Paine across the border in Chile. That turned out to be the biggest mistake of my trip.

Torres del Paine is 600,000 acres of magnificent pristine park. Well, mostly pristine before a Czech tourist set 30,000 acres ablaze two years ago. The Czech government though has come through with help so that they “aren’t considered destroyers of nature.” Declared a UNESCO Biosphere reserve, it has almost everything you need from nature: “ridges, crags, glaciers, waterfalls, rivers, lakes and lagoons.” Everything except active volcanoes.

The greatest way to not appreciate the park is the method I selected: from the window of a bus, getting herded on and off cloudy lookout points to make it in time for a 10 minute sandwich break at a lake. Out of the trip’s seventeen hours, two of those were spent at border control, one was spent looking at scenery, and the rest was cat napping on the bus waiting for the pain to end. If you want to see Torres del Paine, especially the close-up views of the glacier-molded granite peaks in the Cordillera del Paine mountain range, you need to buck up, gather your hiking gear, and commit to the “W” shaped trek which takes five days to complete. If you are not prepared to camp then save your money and time because it’s silly to think you can experience a park like this from a large diesel bus. You set yourself up for a lot of regret if you come to Patagonia unprepared, which I was reminded of once more when I decided to connect with nature in El Chaltén.

A bumpy four-hour bus ride away from El Calafate, El Chaltén is the place you go when you want to get away from the masses and do some real I-love-nature hiking. The park service gives you a handy map upon entry to town, explaining over a dozen hiking and camping options for all ages and laziness levels. The only tricky part is the weather, which can change very quickly, usually out of your favor.

I set out on the clearest of days towards Lake Capri to get views of the main attraction, Fitz Roy, a sharp mountain named by our man Francisco Moreno. I found out why so many hikers I passed on the trail were decked out in serious hiking gear when the wind picked up, the clouds covered the sky, and snow flurries starting blowing in my face. I was in jeans, running shoes, and a sweater, and this is where the regret I was talking about kicked in. I did not have the gear necessary to wait out the weather, so I will only know Fitz Roy from pictures even though I was oh-so-close. The next day I was on a plane to Buenos Aires.

As long as you come prepared with extra money, winter clothes, and a pair of hiking boots, Patagonia will make you feel a bit like how Moreno must have felt one-hundred years ago. You can spend a week in Torres del Paine, with no empanada place for a hundred miles, three days in El Chaltén, drinking water from fresh mountain streams, and a few more in El Calafate, getting used to the sight of hundreds-year-old glaciers. What you see and experience will be things that future generations miss. With climate change, or global warming, or whatever it’s called upon us, it’s not even known how much time you have left.

Twenty-Four Hours In Buenos Aires

If you visit only one city in South America during your lifetime, chances are it’s going to be Buenos Aires, which literally translates to “good airs.” Safer, cheaper, and more family-friendly than the likely number two city Rio de Janeiro, Buenos Aires is heaven for tourists who want to stay busy with never-ending sights. The only problem is the city is so huge (one of the largest in the world with 13 million people) that you will only get a taste. You will know Buenos Aires like an ant knows your house, but hopefully it’s the good parts like the pantry and cookie jar. Let’s take a twenty-four hour ride through the best of what Buenos Aires has to offer.

8am: Recoleta cemetery is a fantastic but depressing collection of entombed Argentines, the rich type who don’t seem to mind being placed in a cemetery that feels more like a tourist park than a resting site. Every tomb is a monument to the dead patriarch inside and is said to represent his artistic tastes. This includes newer tomb styles that have mall-style doors for easy access by living descendants. Prepare for some slow walking to explore the dedication plaques and interiors, until you bump into crowds who lead you to Eva Peron’s grave. If your loved one is entombed here make sure you stay current on the bills lest he be kicked out to make room for someone newly dead.

10am: La Boca is the poorest neighborhood in Buenos Aires that is safe enough for tourists to go in unguided. Your walking tour will end up in the port area with two blocks of souvenir shops, colorful restaurants, and tango shows that only cost the drop of spare change in a hat. Compare that to the US $100 and up price tags of the professional shows. La Boca is the proud home of the Boca Juniors soccer team, with its fanatical following that is known to urinate from the cheap seats onto the quieter fans below. While I would not hang out in La Boca at night, it’s definitely not a favela—the roads are concrete-paved and the residential areas are actual buildings, not shacks. For extreme poverty you need to go off your city map.

Noon: Argentina calls its favelas villas, which in a North American dictionary might suggest a resort with mud baths and Jacuzzis. I did a four-hour “volunteer” stint at Villa Soldati, a really nice way of covering for the fact that I signed up to see poverty. My $30 contribution went to the city’s community center so that takes the burn off what you can argue is a disrespectful viewing of poor people. In this particular villa, the government provides potable water and free meals in community kitchens for the mostly immigrant population from Bolivia, Peru, and Paraguay, but that’s where the good ends.

During severe rainstorms the sewage system overflows and floods the poorly constructed shacks, giving the air a permanent, foul smell. Every home protects their lone television set with a metal gate, and narrow passages between streets turn into forbidden zones at night. If I came here after the sun set, I was warned, I would walk out naked as the day I was born. Illegally-spliced power lines hang low as dozens of barefoot children play in dirt. What little supervision the kids have is by uneducated parents who make an easy decision to put them to work instead of the long-term commitment for education. Imagine how bad these immigrants had it in their own countries if they came here for this.

4pm: Time for a soccer match. The Boca Juniors ended their season by the time I arrived so I went to see their archenemy, River Plate, in a wealthier part of town. It’s important to understand that soccer is bigger than god in South America. Governments are thankful their people have a sedating addiction to take the focus off generally inept leadership that plunged this particular country into a devastating monetary crash in 2001.

Soccer is much more exciting in person than on TV, with the locals standing and cheering the entire time and shots on goal creating as much excitement as goals themselves. Even though it was obvious that River Plate was going to lose, the fans never sat down or stopped supporting them, a little different from American fans who start booing their team upon poor performance.

8pm: The center of the city, known as the “microcenter,” is worth a walk for the obelisk alone, an exact replica of the Washington Monument. This part of the city is the most dense and action-packed, with street vendors and cafes and local professionals hurrying to and from work. It’s also the place you are most likely to get pick-pocketed. Come here during the day if you want to tour government buildings such as the Red House, Argentina’s version of the White House.

9pm: No discussion of Argentina goes without mention of steak. Something that will cost you $50 at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse will run you about $8 here. Head to Don Julio restaurant in Palermo for the best of what Argentine cows have to offer. The meat is so soft that they don’t even give you a steak knife—a standard butter knife will do. With appetizer, main course, side orders, red wine, dessert, and tip, the cost was $20 per person.

11pm: It’s time to hit the famed Buenos Aires nightlife. Because no one goes to clubs before 2 am, we’ll visit a couple of bars in Palermo’s Plaza Serrano first. Bars here are typical of what you will find in the rest of Argentina, with tables crowding the sidewalk and everyone people-watching instead of mingling. If people-watching is a sport, the Argentines are world champions. Sometimes it seemed to me like that’s all they want to do when going out.

12:30am: Puerto Madero is the new and expensive area in Buenos Aires that caters to upper-class tourists and beautiful Argentines with too much money on their hands. So get ready for sticker shock at Asia de Cuba club, which prefers you buy a bottle of their most expensive wine while wearing a striped shirt. The see-and-be-seen culture this type of club pushes meant that the girls here didn’t want to talk to me, a lowly gringo sleeping in a hostel dorm room with five other people.

2am: Take a long cab ride to Sunset on the outskirts of town for their famed foam party. I know, you did foam when you were on Spring Break, but the fun is watching people go crazy for bubbles. The club itself is huge with several rooms, including a stage with live lip-syncing performances by local stars.

6am: It’s still too early to go home so hit Niceto, a dark, loud house club with lots of dancing. You can’t say you went out in Buenos Aires until your “night” ends with the sun in your face. There will be a point where you wonder how these people stay out so late, and the answer has something to do with very long naps.

8am: Sleep!

And we’ve only begun to touch the surface. A peek at any Buenos Aires guidebook makes you realize how easy it is to get lost in this city for months, as long as you don’t mind pollution and poverty. It’s here where many people choose to hunker down and play out their quarter-life crisis while learning Spanish and getting fat on the butter meat instead of facing diminishing prospects at home. Don’t be fooled by my metaphorical day plan for the city—it took a week to complete!

IV: FAVORITE READER COMMENTS

Bill:

Guys guys guys, you got it all wrong. This whole business of “picking them up” is a stupid, frustrating waste of time and energy, especially in a country where you don’t speak the language and share no cultural background. If you want some sweet Argentine ass, just get a call girl or go to the brothel; they usually look just as good, if not way better than the local girls. They know what they’re doing and you get what you want on all levels (many will make out with you and hold you just like a girlfriend would, or bounce her ass on your dick). It completely cuts the bullshit. Keep in mind that the big players in the clubs are either buying the girls with drugs or paying them to go on dates via escort services.

Bobby Rio:

I’ve found South America in general is a bad place to be a single woman over 30. The men there are spoiled and usually date much younger girls, which leaves the older ones in the dust. A man could do well just going after 30+ year olds down there. Even this last time in Brazil my last night I pulled a 35 year old back to a motel no problem. (Almost thought she was a pro it was so easy.)

Gannon:

Most Argentinian girls marry at around 24, and are engaged maybe even at 22, so the main game concentrates at 16-22. Remember that age of consent in Argentina is 16, and even as low as 13 if there is no abuse (you are a foreigner, don´t go lower than 16). Also there is no law like in the U.S. which federally states an age of consent of 18 for non-residing foreigners. 16 and 17 year olds are completely legal in Argentina.

Having said that, there are some feminist U.S. laws which prosecute U.S. men having relationships with women under 16 in foreign countries, so it shouldn’t apply, but here I’m not really sure on the age limits. Really Roosh, if you fail with one of my compatriotas just move on. You can have a beautiful Argentinian fiancée, but she will expect an honest relationship. And men up to 12 years older are not considered old guys.

instantExcitement:

The cultural differences in game are very important. I think it’s amusing when the so called pick up artists believe that the same IOIs and lines will work in NY, London, Hong Kong and Dubai. There is always a method, but chances are that the cultural differences in our society makes the differences sometimes quite difficult. Personally I think an interesting challenge is when a foreigner moves to the U.S. and is in that in-between cultures stage.

Brandon:

I’ve never been to Argentina, but last winter I dated a girl from Argentina while she was in the States for 3 months, and they are crazy. The girl was drop dead gorgeous, by far the hottest girl I’ve been with, but putting up with her was almost not worth it. The first night I met her I thought she was going to fall in love within a week. By the time she left she hardly wanted to hang out anymore.

She was not open at all about sex. She was a very sexual girl, she loved sex, but she never liked talking about anything sexual in public. I also found that she was pretty closed minded to other cultures. She would always say “In Argentina we don’t _______.” I was like, well, this is America. I went to a couple Argentinan parties, I couldn’t get the dancing down, and she loved dancing. The only thing I didn’t find accurate was how hard you made it sound to get an Argentine girl. I met her at work, and that same night we ended up making out in the club. I would have taken her home that night if she had a change of clothes with her. I got her in bed the next day.

WestLondon:

I normally do pretty well with girls from all places, been living here in Buenos Aires for a year now and while I’ve been with a few Arg girls (and went out with one) this is def the hardest place I’ve ever rolled pick up wise.

I'm fairly good looking which normally helps, here it just makes fuck all difference. The girls just don’t look at you or start whispering like in other places I’ve been. It’s bizarre. You will even get told, “so and so thinks you’re hot,” and then you speak to her and it’s all good but it’s just hard to escalate it well. It’s bizarre, I haven’t figured it out AND I speak good Spanish and I have many Arg male friends (good social circle).

IT'S THE WEIRDEST MALE/FEMALE INTERACTIONS CULTURE!!

Carlos:

Argentine women (and particularly porteñas) are the unfriendliest women I’ve ever met. Everything you said is no surprise to me… I find them to be stuck up, distant and VERY sexually repressed. Their ugly attitudes make it hard to approach them let alone get them to bed!!! Argentine girls are definitely the most difficult you’ll ever find. Even the local men admit this: why do you think it is so common among them to frequent brothels? The answer is obvious: it is so hard to get laid that many are left with no option but to pay for sex. Sad but true.

DSR:

Argentine women love dancing. If you don’t know, ask a pretty girl to teach you. She’ll DEFINITELY be down and it’s a good way to meet women. Once I got the dancing down, I would pretend I didn’t know how so they thought they were good teachers when I “picked it up” quickly.

Anonymous:

The thing you have to keep in mind about Argentine girls, is that they have some British influence and that explains the non-sexy portion of that group of women.

Buenos Aires people also come from Italian blood. Back in WW2, Italy was a fascist country and that attitude spills over to the modern day Argentine woman. She thinks Argentina is great and in lock step! Many women in B.A. have to look the same, which is fantastic by the way. She thinks her Argentine men are to die for. That is part of the problem. Every Argentine in B.A. is lazy but think wow, we are fucking great!

EZ Travels:

From my personal experience the direct game doesn’t work as well in Argentina because every other guy uses it. I’ve never seen women get grabbed at so much and the guys love to tell women how beautiful they are.

Jay Gatsby:

“If a girl shows you her “boyfriend” on her cellphone (something that will happen about 50% of the time), she wants you to think she is desired by another man.”

James Bond (or similarly suave guy) would probably give a quick glance and say “sorry, he’s not my type” and then look her straight in the eyes with the unsaid statement that she clearly IS his type.

Sudamericana:

Argentine girls are harder to get than Americans or Brazilians, granted; but you are also missing one key point: Argentine girls tend to like Argentine guys (or guys similar to them, both physically and in their approach to the game, such as other latinos, Italians or Spanish). Most Argentine girls do not usually like gringos, and they like them the least in Argentina, where they have tons of Argentine guys to choose from. They like the way Argentine guys look, dress, wear their hair… Argentine girls may look good, but the supply of great looking men in Argentina is something rare as well (at least the type of men Argie girls like)

Most importantly is the way Argentine guys act. They have a kind of game that works with Argentine girls. They treat you as a Princess for the night even if all they want to do is pump and dump you. The most charming guys I’ve ever met are from Argentina and have mastered a game with quick, smart and funny comebacks which do not usually come across in the U.S. And I am not talking about the stupid Argentine guys who come and grab you, as you once described seeing in Argentina, Roosh.

When I go out with Argentine friends (guys) here in DC, it is amazing to see how girls fall for their game… I always wonder whether they are good cause they are trained to get Argentine girls, or whether Argentine girls are hard for gringos to get just because Argentine guys’ game is soo good… sort of a chicken and egg situation.

Also, being blond and blue-eyed is not being “exotic” in Buenos Aires or Córdoba, where we have lots of them, so that won’t really get you guys points. Furthermore, in Argentina you get blonds who actually tan. A pasty white complexion is not something that is generally well seen by Argentine girls.

Lief:

I’ve traveled to Colombia, Argentina, and Brazil. I’ve had good success over the years but Argentina was a place where I was getting blown out often. I tried both direct and indirect game but I did not notice a difference. I think that the key in Argentina is “social proof” more than anything. Being an American with blue eyes is not social proof. You have to be the guy who knows everyone and walks around the bar chatting with everyone. Argentines are the most self-conscious girls on the planet. They are also crazy as evidenced by the fact they have the highest rates of having a psychiatrist in the world. They are constantly thinking about what everyone in the bar thinks of them. Thus, they are more apt to be focused on social proof.

However, I don’t even bother anymore. Colombians and Brazilians are cooler. Yes, you won’t find the Covergirl faces very often with Colombians and Brazilians but Argies are just not worth the ink that we’re spilling about them.

Flashman:

Argentina was difficult. I’ve never been blown out more, although I was having a good time anyway. In 4 nights, the only success I had was my final one, when I entered a club in a popular but non-gringo zone and projected the strongest shockwave vibe of confidence I could muster, and managed to only get the attention of one cutie. I took her home, but here’s the punch line: she was Colombian. Lesson learned. Medellin next!

John:

I’ve been living here in Buenos Aires for 5 years now, I’m a pretty good looking guy from United States, however, here even a good looking guy will have to work for a girl. Really, the girls here are HYSTERICAL, that is, have low self-esteem and need you to desire them. You will have to put your dignity aside and either treat them aggressively and cocky or flatter them like some loser (chamuyando) who lies to them. You may feel like a bitch for it so it’s probably not worth it.

Most pretty Argentinian girls (not all but most) are immature and this shows in that they play hard to get, always thinking about themselves. It’s hard to talk about something profound like philosophy or psychology with them. If you want to lose your dignity and win a hysterical girl here, you should try being CONFIDENT and IGNORE the negative reactions they put up, even if sometimes they like you, it is all part of the GAME they play.

The Argentinian B.A. men are not that good looking, especially taking into account their personality which is quite superficial. Most of the players are not good looking, just aggressive, “fun,” and CONFIDENT. Most Buenos Aires guys actually feel bad because they cannot be cancheros or players because the girls are so damn hysterical. You will find that most people in Buenos Aires know this, it is COMMON KNOWLEDGE. So, if you want to get laid, go somewhere else. If you want to test your game come here, you just have to be CONFIDENT AND PERSISTENT.

Most Argentinian girls lie to themselves saying they want a good guy, but they don’t, they want a canchero or player, one who generates a lot of desire from women. It’s all about desire here a game of who has the power of being desired. You will find luck in hostels or clubs with non-Argentinians. The problem is the culture itself: Buenos Aires culture is very poor and has a weak national identity, and this lack of self-esteem gives the typical porteno stereotype of arrogance which is quite true.

There are a few nice and genuine, true people here, and take this into consideration when you come down because the women being less truthful, will not admit their desire for you and will judge you not on who you are but how much power you have (of generating desire or attraction). Forget being an accomplished person, only a few girls care about this. Many portenos will deny what I wrote here but it is the solid truth! Be careful of this place because it can confuse and change you. The society here destroys individuality and you may find yourself losing dignity and self-respect. If you get rejected, if you are a good guy, don’t hate yourself—it’s the country and its values. Trust me.

2X:

This is my second time in Argentina. I’m currently here for 4 months and hoping to land a steady piece of ass so as to not have to put in late nights at the club (I like to drink, so trying to go ‘clubbing’ invariably means I’m smashed by 1am).

Honestly though, all these posts seem very pseudo-scientific and not sure how much ‘all-encompassing theory’ can be drawn from them. For what it is worth, here are my thoughts: just be your confident, cool self and if they don’t come to you, you don’t run into them or you don’t hit it off, fuck ‘em.

Last time I was here, I started out in B.A. Typical shenanigans as described above: early 20-somethings ‘practicing’ their English with us, taking us to a bar and then disappearing and leaving us literally stranded. As I often do despite my foreknowledge, I said fuck it, I’m not hitting on anyone. Next thing I know, chicks are hitting on me.

Granted, the first one was in El Calafate down south, near Perito Moreno. She was a glacier guide; you could shoe a horse on her ass it was that firm. I was genuinely interested in the region and the glacier etc… and before I know it she’s telling me about her brother, family and inviting me to the bar, wtf? Doesn’t sound too unusual; genuine interest begets genuine interest.

Second time, I’m back in B.A., I’ve entirely given up on hitting on chicks—I just don’t get flirting, never been very good at it, except once in a blue moon I’m golden—and a friend and I are boozing at this small bar, very late, when two beautiful women—one blond, one brunette—sit with us. Both barely speak any English and essentially sit there with us watching my buddy and I recount our month-long adventure (I’m sure they could barely understand any of it just as sure as I was that they could give a shit about us).

Finally, the gorgeous blond musters all of her English (which is more than my Spanish, to her credit) and says “Why do you like Argentina?” I give her the standard, if truthful, line: nice people, nice city, something different, good personality etc… Before I know it, she is all over me, dragging me back to her apartment in the rain, kissing my neck etc… literally, she was like an abandoned puppy dog. Here’s the problem: our plane was leaving EZE in 2 hours and my buddy wrenched me away. I didn’t even realize how hot or how into me the chick was until half-way to the States because I was so drunk that night. She didn’t seem to care, in the least, about my gringo appetite for suds.

Currently I’m back in B.A. for a few months. More because I want to learn Spanish and I like the atmosphere, the exchange rate and the Euro style of Argentina more so than the ‘legendary’ beauty of the women. That said, their beauty is a wonderful bonus.

…And this is where my recent experience ties in quite well with much of the commentary above. Despite general success just ‘being myself,’ I am taking Spanish classes right now and my teacher is just as fucking cute as a button. She stares/locks eyes with me outside of class and vice versa. Granted, it’s a controlled setting, but I’m pretty damn charming in class and she and the other women (Germans, Brazilians, American) seem to eat it up. So I thought this would be a no-brainer.

After a bit of deliberation, I approached her while she was in transition from work—when Spanish classes were out—and she acted like I was dog food. I asked pretty basic questions that a normal person would just answer in a friendly way. Upon reflection, she is either ‘playing games’ or she just truly is not interested. A normal person would simply have said “Yes I grew up in Palermo, I’ve been working here for 2 years and it is pretty good” rather than coldly staring, deadpan expression, and saying “Why do you want to know?” Am I crazy or is she? I swear she seems totally normal otherwise.

Zarathustra:

If one thing is certain from the couple years I spent in Argentina, noob foreigners way overrate Argentine girls because their cute accents and different looks are a novelty.

The real 9s in Argentina hardly ever go to clubs because they’re jaded from all the cavemen pestering them so much. The upper echelon have 5 boyfriends if they’re not in an exclusive relationship so the last thing on their mind is a one-night stand with a gringo.

Even the attractive girls in Argentina are relatively easy to make out with, another reason foreigners way overrate their success with the women. In the States the make out is a springboard to sexo…not in Argentina. Gringos make out with a couple cute girls that they have no chance of sleeping with and then stuff some hideous Argentine and think they are “killing it” when they are really just wallowing in delusion.

El:

I’ve had decent luck in Argentina. As far as I can figure, you will be infinitely more successful if you:

-Go out of Bs.As. to a place where your American-ness is more of a novelty.

-Are noticeably “white” and will immediately attract attention from a crowd of long-haired, dusky Argies. (Roosh looks like every other guy you see in the street down there in some of his pics. Where’s the novelty factor?)

-Have a network or group who can validate you, or, failing that, be able to use your benign, curiosity-piquing foreign status to ingratiate yourself quickly with a group of Argies. Outside of metropolitan Bs.As. or the big college cities, there will certainly be young people who are eager to become fast friends with you, if only as a curiosity.

-Have more than a rudimentary command of Argentine-dialect castellano.

It’s not for everyone and not for the faint of heart.

Don Juan:

I am from Argentina but I live in the USA and I agree with the initial concept of Argentine women being more difficult to nail. In my first six months in the US I already doubled up the count of women I fucked in Argentina all my life. Statistics like that don’t lie.

But at the same time I think that your bad experience with Argentine women was because you went for the big city upper-middle class white girls who dance house in clubs. Those girls are difficult by nature. Their whole existence is about being unattainable. They truly believe that they are the most beautiful women in the world and that you shall worship their beauty from a prudent distance. They all wanna be—or think they can be—super models, hence they value themselves too much; they think that they are giving YOU a privilege if they let you touch them so you shall do something extra to deserve this.

However, these are not ALL Argentine women. If you stayed longer, you could’ve immerse yourself in other social circles and underground scenes where the rules of the game are much simpler and girls are way easier.

Anyway, I’d rather stay away from Argentine women in general. They all expect to be worshiped and like being the center of attention. I fucked a handful of Argies abroad and they still act the same way.

Armchair Theoretician:

Good read. Yes, the more European blood an Argentine has the more weird and difficult she will be. I think especially the porteñas are a bit narcissistic as well. They like attention and give back nothing. Psychos.

Though, in Argentina I saw a lot of ugly to regular guys (Argies) with stunning beauties. A few were rich asses, most were certainly not.

Social circle and contacts matter big time. Roosh’s game doesn’t seem to work because they don’t know what game is, ha ha.

There I never found it too difficult to bed a chick that was already interested in me. But yes, Argentines are a bit weird in the head—“histericas”. Playing it cool, aloof and not giving them the attention they crave so much might work wonders.

There is some truth to the fact that exotic looking Latinas have a crush for light skinned gringos. Poor Roosh is getting a hard time down there. But I think you will do VERY well with the blondes in Scandinavia and Eastern Europe.

Richard:

You have to admit, though, that part of this is because you don’t look white. Being in South America, Argentinian girls are EXTREMELY snobbish about looking and being white and the good looking girls probably have a HUGELY hard time getting with a non-white looking guy, however charming and attractive.

Not that it matters, but I actually think you’re good looking, but you look like a non-white South American or non-white Middle Easterner—you look like you just about have no European blood in you—and in some places this is simply too great a handicap to overcome.

I would love to see a write up of Argentina from someone who looks very white and European and see if they got the same results as you. It would be interesting.

I’ve learned that you must look carefully at the person who does the write up before you come to conclusions about how you will do in any given country.

Moland Spring:

Great post. I went to Argentina for a week the first time, and got nowhere with my approaches, day or night, with one exception—a 19-year-old Brazilian who was also on vacation. (I should have banged but alas my game was not so good then.)

In any case, just compare BA with Rio and it’s simple—Rio has great beach culture, while BA is a metropolis on a dirty old port. Cool city in other ways, but you can’t beat the party atmosphere of Rio or the sensuality of its women.

Joe Fly:

My observations here in Argentina is that the guys with girlfriends, both Argentine men and foreigner men, get them haphazardly. They have no clue what they are doing. I see the younger men with their pretty gf’s, and these guys have this silly dinner doggie bowl look on their faces. This expression is when a dog is ready to be fed and is all shit-eating grin “oh boy oh boy oh boy..”

The older men with their trophy Argentine skanks may seem cool on the outside, but in the back of their minds they are just as clueless. And I agree the comment made that about when you see a man with an Argentine, you know he degraded and humiliated himself just FOR THAT. Your final conclusion is correct: Too much effort for so little reward. The other thing I noticed is the expression on an Argentine girls face when she smiles at her boyfriend. There is something eerily insincere about a smile from Argi girl. It´s as if she knows she´s playing the guy she is with for a sucker.

Anonymous:

Argentine women are human scum. Seriously. “No vale la pena” doesn’t quite cut it. They are off-the-charts insane.

Barb:

You failed because you are fucking ugly! We are not sex psychos, we fuck who we like, and you are obviously not our type. Sorry, you have to deal with it, instead of writing these pathetic posts.

Please, don’t ever came back. Asshole!

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For more tips on Argentina and picking up South American women,

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